maggie_princess

today and my life

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 04:07:25 GMT

well today i started a part-time job... it pays pretty good i guess... though it really isn't what i want..and right now im really really depressed and feel like my life is going no where... i put the time in and went to college... it is suppose to be easier after u have a degree to find a job.. but is it.. no freaking way... my life is so hard...nothing ever works out to help me in any way... am i ever going to have my dreams come true?????

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 05:04:17 GMT

i want more in my life... when am i going to get more??

again

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 20:42:35 GMT

thats another one im not gonna get... what in the hell is so wrong w/ me?????????

today

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 18:43:14 GMT

yea so today was the most pointless and meaningless day of my life... what the hell is wrong w/ me.....?????? someone please tell me

me

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 05:53:06 GMT

why can't i get things right and be that person who someone wants to be w/... im tired of being alone... :( :( :(

SSDD

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 03:04:22 GMT

things just never seem to work out for me... i don't know what i ever did in my lifetime.. im sorry to anyone who i ever hurt or made feel bad or anything... its just so hard sometimes.. and it seems that no one understands or whats to be there for me when i need someone... so im just gonna say... sorry

yesterday

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 19:52:23 GMT

ok first let me say sorry for what i wrote my last entry.. i was just really upset cuz no one understood how i was feeling.. and all u were doing it seemed was attacking me.. anyways.. that is over w/ now.. just wanted to say sorry...

yesterday i had a freaking blast!!! thanks so much for taking me.. w/ out u i would have never went to Morimoto's resturant!!! it was great.. the place is awesome.. incredable to look at.. and the food.. OMG.. the food.. is mouth watering good.. the best food i have ever had in my life!!! and we got pics w/ morimoto himself... it was great... i had an awesome time and really enjoyed myself.. so thanks :) :)

ps.. everyone should go there and try his food.. it really is amazing.. when we have money.. we have to go again ;)

feeling like crap

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 03:05:55 GMT

im so glad that everyone else is an expert on what i should have done in my life... including my best friend.. i didn't tell u these things that happened so that u could critize me on the decisions that i made in my life... i told u because im upset about it and thought that u would make me feel better.. not worse.. that was suppose to be my "safety" job.. how he talked i thought i had it so that i would have something at least.. now that im not "qualified" enough for that job.. what makes me think that i can be for another job.. that is all i have been thinking about all day.. yea im upset.. and yea im thinking about it.. but this is my future that we are talking about.. something that i want to do for the rest of my life and be proud and happy with.. u don't understand and never will i guess.. but i didnt' need u telling me all of those things and making me feel like a bigger piece of shit then what i was already feeling like... so thanks..

???

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 03:47:35 GMT

could someone/anyone please tell me what is wrong w/ me????

Wed, 26 May 2004 04:14:02 GMT

well now i have to wait 2 weeks to hear something back from that job... so i don't know.. im looking for something else in the mean time.. cuz that job only pays 10 an hour.. so that sucks.. so im hoping that something else comes along in these next two weeks... but that is my life now.. that is all i do.. is look for another job and odd ends around the house.. so that is really all i have to talk about.. fun life huh? o-well.. its mine... so that is all for now..

job

Mon, 24 May 2004 02:54:53 GMT

im very very nervous right now... i have a job interview tomorrow... i always get like this before them.. :/ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i could scream..... ok well i guess thats it... just no one to really talk to right now.. so i thought i would put something on here.... ok... later :)

whats up

Sun, 23 May 2004 17:53:45 GMT

well its sunday.. which means im bored out of my mind... it is "family" day... which means sit around the house and be bored since my dad is still hurting from his opperation he is still laying in bed... well not really.. he got up then went back later... fun stuff... NOT.... so i have nothing to do today.... maybe someone will save me later... i hope...

he is complaining that he can't breathe and is coughing a lot.. but when u try and tell him that his smoking contributes to that.. he just yells.. so i can't win... im starting to not even try to win w/ people in my family anymore...

so anyways.. i guess that it is for now... nothing else to really say....
oh... i hope that u had a good time last night for ur birthday.. and like everything that u got....

Happy Birthday!!!

Sun, 23 May 2004 04:45:25 GMT

happy birthday.. i hope that u had a good time tonight and were happy with ur gifts and liked them... i really didn't know what to do for u... but i know i wanted to do something because of everything.. i just hope that it was enough...
thats really all for now.... feeling better...

shocked

Fri, 21 May 2004 03:35:37 GMT

just found out some disturbing information... kinda worried me.... :/ it hurts me deeply... i have to be a stronger person.... and make myself get through this... i will be better off when i do... it will just take time.. i have to believe in myself that i can do it.... it just hurts really bad right now.... :( :(

stress

Wed, 19 May 2004 15:41:35 GMT

well i sent out all of my cover letters and resumes today.... hope i get something back... now im sitting here worried about my grandma who is now in the hosptial in michigan because of a broken hip!!! and the sad part is that she broke it in pa before they even left the state.. did the turn around? no... they just kept driving here for the rest of the 10 hours!!! so now she has to have a pin put in... and my dad goes for his surgery tomorrow.. he is getting worried about it which is making me worry about it... and i don't know what to say or do to make him feel better about things... so that is adding to my stress level.. this is just all to much to be going through at one time... but nothing that i can do... well ok i guess that is all for now... whoever is reading this is prob getting tired of just reading about me bitching... :)

more worries

Tue, 18 May 2004 03:55:59 GMT

we got a phone calll from my aunt in michigan tonight... she came down for my party on saturday... well she took my grandmother back up w/ her.... and now she called and said that on the way up my grandmother got sick in the car... then later had apparently had a diabetic shock and then later another one... now they don't know this for sure because instead of being smart they were stupid and didn't take her to a hospital... they only called her doctor down here and explained what happened.... he said it was most likely that and said to give her warm water w/ two table spoons of sugar.... now how stupid can u be... why would u not freakin take her to the hospital or even turn the car around right when she got sick... instead of driving a not in good health woman on a 10 hour car ride....???/ can anyone explain that to me...?? but when i try and tell them what is going on they think that im an idiot and dont listen to anything.. it doesn't matter that i took 2 years of nursing classes or that i researched diabetic information when both of my parents were diagnosed w/ it... nope that doesn't matter... so now my mom is going around worried about stuff going on w/ that.. and what might happen in the middle of the night that they won't know about... like her going into a coma or having another shock again... and my dad is worried about his surgery... this is just tooo much... don't know what to do at times like these....

ok well i had to get that out... that is all for now... just on the phone talking about things w/ fred now... so thats all for now...

today

Mon, 17 May 2004 23:58:45 GMT

well today was a completely pointless day... i had that interview drove an hour and 1/2 to get there.. talked w/ one woman for like 30mins max and that was it... she didn't give me much more information that i didn't know already... and the guy above her who was suppose to see me after her had a meeting at 10am so he couldn't see me... so she told me that he will look over my application and give me a call... so i still don't know if i got it or not... but i did find out that it isn't as bad as i thought it was... and the town isn't that bad either... so.. who knows... im open to it now though... still not ready to move that far away from my parents yet w/ the things going on w/ my dad...

he has a surgery scheduled for thursday for his heart... and they may also do something to his kidneys depending on what they see when they exam him on the table... he will have to lie flat on his back for 6 hours after the surgery... which isn't going to be pleasant.. let me just say.. he is a man who in my 22 years of life can't sit still for more than an hour.. lol... but i do love him.. and don't want anything bad to happen to him even though we do argue and disagree on a lot of things... im getting worried because i am starting to see how much he is getting worried about what is going to happpen... so im hoping that some people come and visit us in the hospital on thursday since we will be in harrisburg.. give him someone different to talk to for at least some of that time... :/

so tomorrow i have to get more resumes and cover letters sent out... see if i can get something in the works for a job... my uncle said when he was here for my party that if i get called for an interview for the parole job that he will talk to a few people who he knows that work there.. so that is just freaking awesome... so i hope that i do get called.... i just want a job that i am going to like and at least not dread to get up and go to work everyday like my parents do now...

oh and today at the facility.. i saw one of my fraternity brothers... so i guess he took the job there... he had a shirt in his hands.. which if he did.. and i take it too... i want to not work w/ him...lol.. he is one of them who i do not get along w/.. he thinks his shit don't stink... lol

ok well i think i vented enough... just tryin to at least write things down about my dad since i have no one to talk to about it... since no one who i know really cares to hear or asks or anything... but i don't even know if anyone is reading this.. but if someone is cool.. and i don't want to bore u any longer... so thats it for now....

just starting

Sun, 16 May 2004 04:09:34 GMT

well after a long day i can relax... decided to start this since some of my friends want me to :)... so today my parents threw a graduation party... it was nice.. had some family from out of town come; it was good to see everyone... and u relize how friends of the family are better than your family sometimes... but o-well...

the storm held out til after most of our company left... so we had a beautiful day; it was relaxing to see the kids run around in the yard :)... though now i have to start looking for a good paying career oriented job... going for an interview on monday.. getting a little anxious.. hoping for the best...

missing my friends from school... its sad that i met most of them this last semester and got to know them for the good people who they are... but thanks to internet we can keep in touch :)

k.. well i guess that is it for now... can't think of anything else to write :).. still new at this :P... so till next time...